Young and Old

Today I watched my youngest son interact with our elderly neighbor, and it was priceless. Yesterday our neighbor asked us to take him to buy cat food for his cat. My son wouldn't say a word or even look up at him (and he even bought #3 a donut), but today was a different story. #3 greeted our neighbor as he came across the street to ride with us to pick up my daughter. Then while we were getting in the car, #3 sat on the armrest in between the two front seats and talked to him, noticed he had a few scratches and needed a band-aid, tickled his ear. All this while the other two watched in amazement and they'll barely speak to our neighbor. He's old, I think he's had a stroke because he drools (which really unnerves #2). I was touched to see my young child not recognize things that might otherwise bother other children and adults for that matter.

We Thank Thee Oh God

President Gordon B. Hinckley has died at 97. I am saddened by this news because I loved listening to his words. He was the kind of man who made me feel like I was doing a good job (at anything) and was always able to make suggestions for improvement in one's life that were reasonable and good. I feel like I heard on a number of occasions things like: Husbands, be good to your wife. Wives, use softer voices. Children, obey your parents.
(The above are not direct quotes, merely my impression.)

I appreciated the way he always seemed to build people up and wanted everyone to feel welcome. His messages were simple and universal in that we can all be better to each other. That to me seems like a prophet for the world.

In our last stake conference, (it was a satellite broadcast from SLC), President Hinckley gave 4 points for a happy home. (I sure wish I wasn't stopping someone from writing on the wall of the church, or punching another child for touching his toy, but such is my lot right now, and I'm praying that his remarks will be transcribed and made available online. I'll post them when I find them.)

I will miss his kind and heartfelt words this upcoming April and many general conferences to come. I will miss the love that I felt in listening to him speak and reading his words. But what a great day for him to be reunited with his wife of over 60 years who passed away almost four years ago. Thank goodness there is more than just our time on Earth.

A few more of my favorite things

This past weekend #2 and I flew home to visit my dad for the long weekend. The first meal I had was at my favorite burrito shack. I practically fasted for two meals before just to fully appreciate the meal. And it was all I've hoped for and waited for over a year.

While I was home, I was able to meet my college roommate and her husband for lunch one day. She and I were assigned to a quad our freshman year and since we were both from the same town, I called her before we arrived on campus. After hanging up the phone, I thought, "Oh no, what have I gotten myself into?" She sounded terribly boring on the phone. She told me later that I'd woken her up and she was a little disoriented. Anyway, she has become one of my favorite people. I love her sense of humor and her honesty. She is a true friend, who I could not talk to for a month or more, and we'd just pick up where we left off. The thing that makes me smile is that her husband has the same dry sense of humor and mild manner that she does. I feel like I've known him forever because they just seem like two parts of the same whole.

My best friend and I have recently started making ponchos for little girls. The two most recent ones are pictured above (I'm not quite the blogging genius I might like to be in order to put the images right where I'd like them, oh well). I love being creative and useful.

Out of the mouth of babes

#2 has been complaining that his head hurts and he said his eyes hurt when he closed them. I suggested that maybe he has what I had yesterday.

He said, “What did you have yesterday?”
“A head cold,” I responded.
“Oh, I guess I have a head hot, and an eye hot, too.”

Yep.

Things that I look forward to

Here's a list, in no apparent order, and by no means exhaustive:

- The Sun - a magazine

- Brain, Child - a magazine

- Chinaberry - a catalog/website with cool stuff

- The Tattered Cover - a bookstore in Denver

- This American Life - a radio show on NPR

- A Prarie Home Companion - another radio show on NPR

- TED Talks - interesting ideas

- Lost - a TV show

- 24 - another TV show

- The Amazing Race - another TV show that satisfies my desire to travel (right now)

Just thought I'd share.

Your life vs. the one you were given

At what point in an adult's life does it become your own? What I mean by this is it seems like people spend a lot of time explaining away their behavior as a function of the way they were raised. I'm not sure there is a person out there who had a perfect childhood, whose parents fell short of the ideal, large or small. So when is it no longer okay to blame it on your upbringing, and time to take control of what you are and what your life has become?

I've heard recently from people who were raised in the LDS church that they've become disillusioned with the church itself. For instance, what happens when you've been raised to see the Bishop of your ward as "the judge in Israel" (which some people translate into somehow a perfect person) and he ends up being a child molester, or something not as heinous, maybe he has an affair or whatever happens to people. Or if your bishop tells you and your spouse you should have children, when you think it's none of his business. They're not perfect. But what do you do with the information that your Bishop is not the perfect person you were raised to believe him to be?

Or what about if someone gives a talk at General Conference (bi-annual meeting of the entire church broadcast via satellite where talks are given by church leadership) that you don't necessarily agree with? Case in point, this past October Julie Beck, General Relief Society President gave a talk entitled Mothers Who Know. There are many who view this talk as putting women back in the home, barefoot and pregnant. That's a little exaggerated, but you get the picture. I heard the talk and read it later and viewed it as an ideal, something to aim for, but consciously avoided internalizing it in any way because I feel like I'm doing the best I can and am not in a position to pile on anything else right now. I think she may even make some statements that I flat out don't agree with, and I'm okay with that, too, so I basically ignore it.

Not being raised in the church, I have a different perspective on church leadership. Joining as an adult, I think I have enough sense (I hope) to know what is right for myself, and enough sense to figure out when I need to pray about a certain principle to find out what is true. Isn't that what the church is based on? This is one of the reasons joining the church made sense to me, I didn't have to believe anyone just because they said it was true (and still don't have to), I can find out for myself, as can every member of the church.

With that, what is one to do when they disagree with something someone says at General Conference, or one of the church's positions on something? I don't have the answer, but I have come across something that until today, I wasn't aware of as a philosophy, but think there's real value in.

A friend of mine recommended an article in a magazine, The Sun (one of my favorite magazines) regarding a Japanese philosophy called Naikan (which I'm not going to explain, simply say "read the article." It's the interview with Gregg Krech.) It resonates with me in that if we concentrate on the things we've been given in our lives from the people around us, we're in debt. I think this can be translated into an LDS perspective in that if we attribute everything we've been given, people, things, opportunities, to God, we're still in debt. Even further, no matter if we're Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or Atheist, we have many things in our life to be grateful for, and if we acknowledge how they came to us, and recognize them as sources of gratitude, our lives will be enriched, and we will stop being concerned about the potential misconceptions we were raised on, and start looking at what we can contribute to the whole with the knowledge we now possess. The knowledge is that we are in debt to God, to the universe, to the people around us for where we are today, and there's no time like the present to move forward and be a positive force instead of look back and complain. Like it or not, we cannot change the past, but have all the power in the world to change the way we act in the present and look forward to the future.

Good Times

The last few days have been great, mostly because I've had the patience and peace of mind to enjoy what's going on. For myself, I've been able to run, catch a few chapters in my book while the kids are playing on the playground, and manage to keep on top of housework. I've also been able to laugh with my children while they dance, read stories at the library, watch a movie with them, and just BE with them.

The irony of the evening occurred when we came home from making birdhouses at the library. Child #3 fell asleep in the car, much to my chagrin because I've recently discovered that naps=late late bedtime for him. I got him out of the car and he proceeded to cry about everything, the show on TV, the location of his new birdhouse, the color of my hair (not really, but it sure felt like it), on and on. In the car earlier I gave the kids the option of pizza, mac & cheese or soup for dinner. #1 chose mac & cheese, #2 chose pizza, and #3 wanted mac & cheese. The older two were more than happy with their choices, but #3 was of course a wreck, too hot, too cold, so I offered him pizza, but the plate was the wrong color. By this time I just pulled out some spinach for myself, and he went crazy. He had two bowls before he even attempted his pizza. Oh, and he stopped crying, and is now happily playing with his brother & sister.

Good times.

I've created a monster . . . Part 2

I admitted in my previous post about purchasing small things for my children, that sometimes it's worth $3-5 to avoid a struggle. Today, I sadly realized this is much more my problem, than it is my son's.

This morning I ran into Target (is it ever possible to run quickly into Target?) to purchase a change of clothes for my youngest son who threw up in the car on our way to a funeral. Just inside the door was the $1 Spot, and what did I do? Picked out a small thing for each of my children. Why!?!?!?! No one was with me begging and crying for a toy, just me and my purse and my mission for an emergency change of clothes in case he vomited again. I walked out feeling pretty good about my purchases (I also found a cool fancy jacket for myself on sale for $13), and it was about an hour later when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm the one in need of deprogramming just as much, if not more, than my son.

I guess I'm the monster that needs recreating.