One of our favorite things to do is go to the park to have a little family baseball game. Hubby or I will pitch, and the kids take turns fielding and hitting. It's usually a pretty enjoyable experience, a few negotiations about "one more pitch" or "one more hit," maybe some tears, but generally, it's fun.
BUT . . .
. . . as is the case with parks in general, there are other people there, which is usually a good thing, except when it comes to the family baseball game (or any ball game we've intended to play at the park). After we've been going for a little while, a kid who doesn't belong to us, will skirt around the fringes, start shagging some balls, and before you know it, they're struggling with #2 over whose turn it is to bat next.
Hubby's point is this, "I came to the park to pitch balls to my kids, not your's. I didn't come to the park to referee 6 kids fighting over the next swing (with the bat, we hope), it's tough enough with 3, so would you kindly butt out."
I get it. Sure I do. But where do you draw the line? Our kids will usually ask to play with other kids in their ball games at parks and other parents are gracious enough to consent. I don't mind so much except when one of our children isn't in the mood for sharing one of his parents. He does so well with one on one attention, especially when it involves Dad and a ball. Maybe it's different for me being with them the majority of every day, that I don't mind mixing it up a little and playing with other kids at the park because we do have a lot of one on one time, so the hour Hubby has to play with the kids at the park on a Sunday afternoon is precious to him. During the week it gives me a chance to speak to other adults at the park during the day, where he's not at the park to make friends, he's there to play with his kids.
Sometimes, we've taken balls and mitts and if other kids don't have a mitt, they usually don't ask to play, but any other sort of ball game seems to be free reign.
I clearly understand both sides of the issue (Economy? War in Iraq? Equality in marriage? BHAA, we're talking real issues here) I'm just not sure how what the protocol for diplomacy is in resolving this one. I'm up for any suggestions you have. Give it to me straight. I don't need it sugar coated, my skin is pretty thick.
I'm serious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I consider it a parent's responsibility to have his/her feelers out for the extent to which his/her children are welcome to participate in someone else's event, even in a public space. And I think we should all feel comfortable saying, at the times we feel it is in our OWN kids' best interests, "Hey, you know what? We're working as a family on our baseball skills right now...we'd love to include you another time."
Easier written than said, perhaps, but as parents, we should be looking for cues from each other on where we are in our own parenting at any given time...
I totally get the difference between how you feel when you're at the park with the kids vs. how your husband feels. It is different for them, b/c their time with their kids is limited. My husband is much the same way. And it can be irritating when other parents don't seem to be supervising their own kids, aren't being sensitive, as the previous comment said, to whether their kid is welcome to jump in or not. I think our family has much the same kind of attitude, even though we haven't had exactly the same situation. I think our generation is generally uncomfortable dealing with other people's children, especially if we don't know the parents. But I think back to my childhood, and how any given summer evening my parents would start a whiffleball game with us in the front yard, and by the end we might have a half dozen more players join us. I don't remember a single parent ever being around, just the kids, drawn in by our little family. And that's the point that hits me now that you've got me pondering it, I think they were drawn in more by the fact that we had parents interacting wtih us, than the game itself. And I think that my parents being open and generous in sharing that time taught me a good lesson. I understand that our husband's time with their kids may be limited, but in that limited time wouldn't it be great for them to see their parents setting an example of compassion and love for all God's children? It's something I need to think about, too.
Post a Comment