But I wove you . . .

This is the way #3 tries to get out of doing something he doesn't want to do. He says it in this sweet little sing-song voice and cannot pronounce the L in love and it just melts your heart, kind of. But that's not what I wanted to write about . . .

One of my favorite programs is This American Life. In a nutshell, it's thought provoking, in depth journalism, with essays every so often. It's an NPR show from Chicago that is on every weekend, usually airing Friday evening. (It has also become a TV show on Showtime, although I've only seen snippets of that because we don't have that channel). This show has opened my eyes to new ideas, people, ways of looking at the world, authors, etc. I love it. I subscribe to their podcast because I can't possibly ensure that the hour the show is on each weekend (or rebroadcast for that matter) is the precise hour my children are going to be quiet, so I tune in when I'm driving/running/doing dishes, you get the picture.

Episode #293 aired on July 11, 2008 entitled A Little Bit of Knowledge.

Act 2 of the show was an excerpt of a book by Dan Savage called The Commitment. The excerpt is regarding gay marriage in 2004, and how certain members of Dan's family were in favor of he and his partner getting married, but their son was ademently opposed to the idea, while Dan & his partner weren't sure if they wanted to get married at all. But in the middle of Dan's discussion about gender issues with his son, he has this wonderful discussion about falling in love that just melted me. Here it is:

It's not a decision you get to make, I said. It's not a decision I got to make, it's a decision your heart makes.

When?

When you're older, I said. One day your heart will let you know whether you're the kind of man who falls in love with a woman or a man. There was a long silence and I thought DJ had fallen asleep. He was curled up next to me resting his head against my side and I couldn't see his face. I stayed very still.

Grandma says you're supposed to marry the person you love, DJ suddenly said. He hadn't fallen asleep, he'd just been quietly working through something.

That's right, I said. Grandma does say that, all the time.

But you love me and we're not gonna get married.

Grown up love is a special kind of love. People don't fall in that special kind of love with their sisters or their mothers or their sons. There's something in your heart that makes you go out into the world and find someone new, someone you've never met before, and that's the person you fall in love with.

Why?

Because that's how new families are made. And one day you'll meet the person you want to make a new family with and that's the person you're supposed to marry.

Why?

Because marriage is a promise that you make to that other person. A promise to stay in love with them forever. To be related forever, so that you'll always be together.

Amen, brother.